Wednesday, 17 September 2008

Sisters - a couple of days on

Lovely surprise... flowers from my sisters just now... when I stopped crying, I had this piccie taken by a friend.

THANKYOU all of you... and sorry Charlie - no time to stick makeup on. This is me, raw and red-eyed.


It’s now a couple of days after the excitement of Sunday, when I finally made contact with four lovely people.

It’s wonderful, but there are so many different feelings pulling me in different directions.

I have many many photographs, of everyone growing up, babies, little girls, teenagers, weddings, and my favourite- a line of bottoms and ‘family legs’ in cut off trousers.

I have many photos of my parents. My mother as a child, on a horse (She rode with Harvey Smith - well, there’s a turn up for the books!). She looks very gentle, with a mop of brown curls and beautiful eyes. My father’s face is strong, well defined.

I rang my ‘step mother’ last night to say thank you for passing on my letter. We talked for a while. It was a bit of a shock she said, but as soon as they saw my website, there was no doubt that I was who I said I was.

What now?

Well, I watched enough ghastly programmes over the last few years, in which reunions were made into entertainment. Long-lost siblings falling on each other’s necks and swearing to keep in touch. And then a ‘revisit’ clip at the end of the programme, with a few bemused people saying that nothing had happened since the programme.

Well of course it didn’t. A bit of fame and a studio hairdo glosses up the event, and then the people walked away and carried on with their lives. I think they are probably very lucky if anything grows.

I think having full sisters, as opposed to half sisters is unusual. And it is joyous.

Whatever happens, whether we all return to our lives and let this sink, I know who I am, genetically. And they know who the sibling is that they ‘knew’ about but couldn’t ask.

I am using a lesson learned from those dreadful programmes.

I am so delighted, and moved, to have talked to Susie and Phillippa, and I will visit Phillippa if, in a couple of months time, we both feel it is the right thing to do.

As I said when writing about this initially… if something grows, slowly, then great. If not, this has been the most brilliant conclusion to a long long journey.

I am proud of them all. Of us all. And wish us all much happiness. I know I feel happier and more settled than I ever have.

And now, this blog is returning to its normal transmissions.


Nik's Blog said...

I wish you all much happiness too.

Nik X

Jo Horsman said...

wonderful stuff. x

Sarah Hilary said...

Much much happiness to you and yours. xxx

norton said...

What a story. Good luck to you.

Sara said...

Vanessa, this is an extraordinary thing; massive, complex, difficult and also fabulous and lovely. oh gosh, I just wish you well and send hugs, and best wishes to all concerned.

Vanessa Gebbie said...

thank you again. I am diving off to Ireland where I will wander round in a daze and wonder if this might all be a dream. But happily, I also know, finally, it ain't.

E.P. Chiew said...

That is really stunning news, Vanessa. I had no idea you were adopted. I cannot imagine what it must be like to find four full sisters. Wow. I'm really happy for you and thank you for sharing this joy.

Jackie Arrowsmith said...

Susie has just told me the incredible news. How amazing for you all. I have known Susie for many years and she will be a wonderful sister.

Sarah Salway said...

Vanessa, so much happiness to you. And how generous of you to share it with us all too.

Vanessa Gebbie said...

Hi Jackie... thanks for dropping in, andf for the message. It is still a blur all this.,.. having spoken to Susie, I agree...she's lovely!


Vanessa Gebbie said...

Hi Sarah

it seemed the right thing to do... most people who know me or my book know how frazzled/bewildered I have been for a long time, but also how much this has informed my writing. So I guess this is also going to inform it... not directly, but obliquely.

OSLO said...

This had me tearing up, Vanessa. It really is a moving story which you have very eloquently shared. Have a lovely trip to Ireland

Davina said...

What a beautiful, touching story. I wish you and yours every happiness.