To the Senders of Certain Extension Emails -

As you know, I am working hard on my poetry. Here, inspired by the thousandth email offering me a dick extension, is a poem. Or not...



RETURN TO SENDER

To the echoing beat of a coppery gong
that plays in the dark in my head
I lie awake the whole night long
counting pixels and widgets instead

I think it’s the fault of the stresses
from emails unbidden and rude
They offer extensions - and not for my hair -
for parts my bod does not include

I wish I could say to the senders
“a big dick would not suit me at all,
do say where you think I should put it –
perhaps it should go on the wall?”

On the other hand, this is the message
I’ll send them, whoever they be -
“Please check out the length of YOUR willies
before you come bothering me.”