Wednesday, 9 December 2009

To the Senders of Certain Extension Emails -

As you know, I am working hard on my poetry. Here, inspired by the thousandth email offering me a dick extension, is a poem. Or not...



RETURN TO SENDER

To the echoing beat of a coppery gong
that plays in the dark in my head
I lie awake the whole night long
counting pixels and widgets instead

I think it’s the fault of the stresses
from emails unbidden and rude
They offer extensions - and not for my hair -
for parts my bod does not include

I wish I could say to the senders
“a big dick would not suit me at all,
do say where you think I should put it –
perhaps it should go on the wall?”

On the other hand, this is the message
I’ll send them, whoever they be -
“Please check out the length of YOUR willies
before you come bothering me.”

6 comments:

JJ Beattie said...

Very funny.

Rohan said...

Excellent. I HATE chain emails and spam in all its manifestations, including the canned kind.

Lauri Kubuitsile said...

Vanessa you are wasting your talents on those short stories; it is obvious where your talents lie. HAAAAA!!!!! (very very funny- I'm going to have to link to that one!)

Tania Hershman said...

Love the poem!! And great interview! (My Word Verification word is thepulp - very apt!)

Vanessa Gebbie said...

Thank you all. Im working my way into a collection of doggerel. Kidding.........

Emma said...

Ha, Ha, that's wonderful! Very funny indeed.